My so called life

Ever since i was in college i have always considered my life as a very big showbiz career, wherein i have to deal with different people, get new shows, assume characters and win peoples hearts.

My first big show was my college life. Here i met so many equally important people in my life. I met Theresians(Cherissa, Brenda, Feliz and Genevie). I never thought that Theresians could be cowboys too. Then I also had Hearter friends(Anchela and Noreen). Mai2 and Apple were my friends from Mindanao. Jaspher was a bonus to our group. And lastly Kenneth, Glenn and Boggs my very good friends from Science High. I consider our group the cream of cool people. We were the noisiest in the class. And everytiem we have no classes, it is a given that most of my btchmates would gather around us just to listen to our stories. Slowly as we progress thru college, we lost some of them to other schools and courses. Brenda and Boggs left first, followed by Kenneth and Noreen. During our graduation, I never expected that this show would end in a bad way. The group was divided because of a petty quarrel.

My next show, Ill call it Aprilfools. Here i met so many different people. People from neighboring provinces(Negros, Davao and Cagayan de Oro), people from big schools in Cebu(USC-ComE, UP, USJR and UC). I truly treasure these people for they were with me as i grew as a proffessional.We were batchmates. We eanjoyed every moment we had together. It was very hard for me to leave them for a job in Manila. i truly will always be an Aprilfool. Apart from my batchmates, at NEC I also met great people--- my groupmates and the entire NEC community.

Then came VPAL-EM. This is an exlusive group of very daring human beings. Ria was our glue, our story teller, a very thoughtful person who made all our wonderful great things happen. Georgia, a character whose life story I could always relate to, my boarding house mate and roommate in Manila. Claire, a co-Aprilfool, whose kindness and generosity i will forever cherish. Maila, our commander, whose advises are always worth remembering, a woman with strong character and soft heart. Maricris, they say she's Ria's twin but with a softer touch. Arlene, the most silent and serious barkada. Monette, my housemate, a person whom I can easily get along with, a person who gives me the most unbiased advise about love and finances. These girls made a great impact in my life. I will never be the person that I am right now without them. They taught me so many great realities about lfie. They taught me to be confident and believe in myself. Kaso nasobraan lang ko, nagbasul siguro sila hahaha....

CyberJ, It shows my struggles as a proffessional whose primary goal is to get a new life in Manila. Here I was able to meet really really great people. Cecille, Mark, Jewel and Abbey. They are four of my closest friends in the company. Though I have met a lot of great people through my interactions with other departments and groups, these people stand out. They reflect the person that I am. Noisy, easy going, and true to one's self. No doubt we click together. They're my lunchtime barkada, gimik barkada, yosi barkada and outing barkada in the office.

Destiny's Child.. My latest show. A show that gathered three different people with very different characters. Julius, a person that I never thought I could get along with. He was our high school bully. I just cant stand being with him. I had always thought that getting near him automatically sibjects myself to scrutiny. Right now, we became roommates, a great listener to all my stupid problems, very understanding, and is always willing to lend a hand when his friends are in trouble. Kenneth, my roommate in Cebu and college barkada. We never spent so much tiem together before. But when I transferred to Manila, i never thought that we would be this close. He is liek a brother to me that I never had. A brother who completely understands my situation. We have similar family issues, struggles and dreams. I am definite that we will continue to face Manila's worst and best together.

My Next Top Boyfriend, my latest show.hahaha(Giapil pa jud)..This show started right after my breakup with Kim. This program showcases my struggle for true love. This is about how I transformed my self as I experience heartbreaks, love and struggles to get the perfect partner I have always wanted and dreamt. It gives people an idea, how I build my priority queue of prospects. How I enqueue new ones and why I dequeue prospects. It has just ended its first season yesterday. Hopefully its second season would not be in the near future.

In one miss universe episode, the host asked the contestants if there is a certain part in their lives that theyd want to be changed, what would it be and why... Well definitely, If he'll ask methat question, I can now sa "NOTHING".

Not looking

Tommorow's going to be valentines day. Last year, I spent it at my gym's spa, had a dinner with my IP-Gateway teammates at our office's pantry and spent the whole night tinkering our software. It was fun, actually it was really really fun(hehehee kaplastic). I didnt have a partner then so it was pretty pretty fine.

How will i spend it this year? Thats today's biggest question for me. Well, I definitely have more options now. This year I'm obviously still loveless(pucha! ngano timingun man na valentines day..leche!)

1) overtime (nasad!)
2) diamond peel or purifying facial at bioessence ( at least laishu diba? Vanity = expressing love for oneself)
3) Get a new haircut at Fix Podium ( O diba? love for oneself napun)
4) Gym ( ingun si ken... LOSER daw ko if mag gym ko ugma..hahahaha!)
5) House ( huhuhu )
6) Spend it with some single friends ( ok ra lingaw ra payts ra...)
7) Surprise date (Wish ko lang!)

Well, I may not have a date tomorrow, at least I didnt rush things out just to get a partner or a date. The lesson I have learned from last Christmas' deadline is something I will always remember. Kaya ..di na ako maghahanap, maghihintay lang ako... Ang saya kaya maging single...no deadlines no pressure just plain fun!

America's Next Top Model

Last night, as Ken and I were watching a replay of Tyra Banks' America's Next Top Model, I can't help but think what my life would be like if I was a model. What's with these models that i really adore? What if I have no pimples and fucking pimple marks? What if i was taller like 5'11 and toner? WouldI make it? Do I have what it takes to be one? Will my preference inhibit me from being one?



When I transferred to Manila, I was exposed to various people in the industry. I met models, art and creative directors, agents, and writers. I've been given oppurtunities to try auditions and go-sees. But given my present physical condition right now, I think being a model is still a wishful thinking for me. I did not show up at those auditions, I was scared.



A lot of times, I thought of giving it a try. I was asked if I was a model in one of the parties I attended before in Malate, an art director asked my friend if I could meet him, because he might consider me for a shoot for a film festival ad, a friend whose bf is a model gave me go-see schedules, an ex-date told me I have a market because of my skin color and body structure and even an ex-date's friend told me the camera loves me and should give print ad modelling a try. Last Saturday, I saw a group of guys and everybody in the bar knows their sexual preference, which is the same as mine and they are all models. I have a friend and I know that I look better than him and yet he is a model. Maybe if I was more aggressive to attend go-sees, it could have been a catalyst for me to be one.




Well, there are things that aren't just for you. Maybe its too late or maybe its not yet my time. But we never know, this year might be mine. After all, when you want something, the universe conspires with you to help you achieve it.

Georgia's Entry

It took me months to read a new entry from Georgia's blog ...

This is the link of her new entry .. an interesting one indeed hehehehe

I Believe

===================================================================
just got a copy of this song from Bev...
I just can't stop listening to it..
be it in my career, love life, family, my dreams ....
i guess this is such a great theme song ..next to "go the distance", "reflection" and "when you believe" ..
===================================================================
Have you ever reached a rainbow's end
And did you find your pot of gold
Ever catch a shooting star
And tell me how high did you soar
Ever felt like you were dreaming
Just to find that you're awake
And the magic that surrounds you
Can lift you up and guide you on your way

[Chorus:]
I can see it in the stars across the sky
Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before
Now I finally realize
You see I've waited all my life for this moment to arrive
And finally, I believe

When you look out in the distance
You see it never was that far
Ohhh No
Heaven knows your existance
And leads you to be everything you are
Ohhh
There's a time for every soul to fly
It's in the eyes of every child
It's the hope, the love that saves the world
And, ohhh, we should never let it go

[Chorus]

I believe in the impossible
If I reach deep within my heart
Overcome any obstacle
Won't let this dream fall apart
See I strive to be the very best
Shine my light for all to see
Cause anything is possible
When you believe yeah

[Chorus]

Ohh Yeah

Love keeps liftin me higher
Liftin me higher
Love keeps liftin me higher
I said love keeps liften
Love keeps liften me
I said Love keeps liften
Love keeps liften me higher
Said love keeps liften me higher
I said love keeps liften me high

When you want something the universe conspires with you to help you achieve it

Indeed, this saying is really true, i can't stop kim from txtng and calling me, and i cant stop from expecting him to txt and call din, that is why it's destiny who is trying to separate us apart. He is flying to thailand for 10 days. At least for 10 days di ko siya matxt, di ko sya macol, no communication. It makes me forget about about my feelings for him easy....

=)

There's no easy way

I held her close to me
'Cause I know she breaks so easily
And then I told her
But I knew no matter how I tried to console her
She'd just do the best she could
But there are times the best is no damn good
And no matter how you try to be kind
There's always still a part of you you leave behind
When it falls apart

Chorus:
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart

I lied and told her she'd be fine
Though we both knew it was just a line
I had to do it
'Cause I'd a' said anything to help me get through it

Then she reached out for my hand
And her simple touch was more than I could stand
And I had to turn away
'Cause I knew all the hurt
That she was feeling I was feeling too
'Cause when it falls apart

Chorus:
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart

She could've gotten angry
And made me feel like a guilty child
But I realized that never was her style
I wanted her to hurt me
And not treat me like a friend
I wanted her to say there'd be someday
I'd come crawling on my knees to ask her back again
But she acted like a lady 'til the end
Oh, what a lady

I thought that she'd break down
But she smiled at me and never made a sound
And I guess she understood in her way
'Cause her silence told me everything she could not say
When it falls apart
There's just no easy way

Chorus:
There's just no easy way
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart.

------------------------------------------------------------

Indeed, breaking up is one of the most difficult things any human being can encounter ... Cguro im one of those people who often encounters it..Cguro i could say na tigang na ko ana, pero no..feel nako i still have a lot of things to experience for me to be better .. yeah im sad pero wala man koy mahimo, "what happens..happens" ... and as what a friend told me before, "its easier to talk the talk than walk the walk" ... Kaya, it's better na i look at life's brighter side, think of what i can do to make me happy ... after all, im accountable to whatever i do ....

After all ... Its easier to talk the talk than walk the walk ...

Its Christmas!

"And I believe
That in my life I will see
An end to hopelesness of giving up of suffering
And we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
Stand up for life
Stand up for love"

Kahit di ko kasama ang family ko this Christmas, in a way happy pa rin ako. Makakasama ko mga friends ko. God really works in mysterious ways. I've got so many things to thank him now, a new love, a new job, a new outlook in life, a stronger relationship with friends.I wanna thank Him for being with me always, for giving lessons i have to learn for me to be better and stronger as a person, as a friend, as a son, as a brother, as a partner, as an employee and as a citizen.

Gusto ko magblog pero i cant write something for now..just wana greet all my readers and my self if wala akong reader a Merry Mery Christmas!

Chance ... Oppurtunity .. a Challenge

Ill be going back to our requirements walkthrough later with our Ukrainian client, that's why, ill be taking this spare time to blog what i feel now.

When i entered this company, i really don't know what to expect. All i know is that Pipo and Darrix are happy to be part of it and that my VPAL-EM barkada convinced me that this is such a great oppurtunity for me.

The first few week with this company was tough ... i really dont know what to do inside..i have no assignment, no group, no manager.. I was pretty bored just reading about Struts, JSP, J2EE, Beans, Servlets.. what these terms are all about..I even got a comment from Darrix that i always look pale and unexcited.

Then, finally i got an assignment, I spent three months tinkering about Ibatis, Struts, XmL etc..It was pretty tougher because i really don't have any experience with any of these except basic J2SE. But it was so much challenging. I finally had a taste of creating my first few JSP pages and at the same time coding with Struts.

Just last week, my manager approached me. She told me, she felt i was so underutilized in her group. She wanted to transfer me. Now, she will no longer be assigning me as a senior developer but an assistant team lead for the new project. I was in a total shock. I really never expected it. It was so much a challenge, i told myself.

Since last week till today, i spent my days reading requirement documents, creating design plans, meeting, meeting and meetings. Whoa! Finally, im doing this. Something that i have always dreamt of, leading a group and not just code.

I hope this will be a start of a better career path for me. This should be something i should take good care of. Not everyone is given this oppurtunity.

While writing this, i remembered Ms Nene during our ratings session last april. She told me that i have to do more and be better because ill soon be an SDE2. I'll always be thankful to Ms Nene for she has always been an inspiration to me.

I always be thankful to my project manager for giving me this chance and to the company in general. Huge thanks also goes to my former teammates for helping me understand the technology and the business process as well. To my friends, for always inspiring me to improve my craft as a professional. And to God for this new blessing.

How i found my special someone

Right after i bought a new sun cellular sim, i vowed not to give anymore my new number to anybody from downelink and connexion.
And i promised myself that i would get my revenge starting that week. YEs indeed, i did get my revenge but i never expected this to happen.

--- The first move ---

It was tuesday, i received a message asking for my number, I thought twice, cause giving my number was not part of my plan. When i viewed his profile,
he is 18 but he looks good in the pic..kaya sabi ko" hmmmm. sige ill try this one, this will be my last, bahala na 18 years old! " hehehe i gave my number na. I never thought,
isa lng pala ako sa list of prospects nya , he actually sent the same msg sa ga prospects niya..PAK! parehas jud mi..hehehe

--- The texting stage ---

So un, he texted last wednesday, and he made his first call last thursday.
I was amazed coz, it really boosts my ego when a guy makes an effort to call me. AFter that first call, i realized i was too raw and uninterested so,
i texted him, "Nice talking to you", i purposely did that to make his hopes high. baka isipin niya di ako interested(Sabi niya sakin, un daw nafeel niya)

Friday, i added him sa friendster, there i saw 50 pics of him, i was impressed, for me pasado na siya at 5'8 1/2 ok na.. so i txted him ,
"grabe ka naman ka vain di ko keri 50 pics mo, too much love for oneself is bad, share mo naman yan!" He texted back.."gusto mo, share ko sayo?",
Oh my God, kumagat ang loko, so i replied, "huh? paano?" , he texted me, "R u free 2nyt?" hehehe. eto na.. di na ako nagpakamanang, so i said "sure..
greenbelt 3 tayo then will go somewhere else after.."

--- How we met ----

I looked for a place sa greenbelt, where i could hangout while waiting for him ..(late ksi siya) i decided sa Music1 nalang...
Then he texted "Im here na..were tayo meet?" I told him, "Im at music1 at the listening station , Im wearing green"
Sabi niya, "Dami niyong nakagreen, kaw nlng lapit sakin, im wearing violet" So nilapitan ko siya..Oh God ..complete package to (Kaya pala late)...
sobrang may effort from hair to shoes ..todo getups ...talbog beauty ko ...pwede! ..so un tinabihan ko siya kaso nahiya ang lola niyo so what i did ,
i transfered to his back and texted hi , "I think im at your bACK", He replied, "I think im at your back too hehehe" so un..nagmeet na kami ..
ang saya ko kasi parang gusto ko siya.

--- conclusion ---

We watched, just like heaven sa greenbelt, nalula ako sa kamahal, buti dutch treat(Which is tama naman),
we went to metrowalk just to drink lng then, we went to my place, to wait for ken wyl watching dvds(??) .at dun
we felt the connection, so 6 hours after kami nagkita, kami na. hehehhe

super whirlwind as in the fastest ever, sana hindi rin the fastest na mawala.. he is so special sa kin, i told myself di ko pakakawalan to.
i saw in him the clue or sign i was looking for my next partner which is, "the guy for me is the guy who wouldnt make me think of them all"
and yes, di nga ako nagthink about them, ung focus ko siya lng as in siya lng talaga ....
Masaya siya kasama, i felt young again kasi, maharot siya, as in sobra

Finally, i have found somebody before Xmas..sana siya na!

Blessings

I never expected that the past week would be a very good 1 for me. There is this song that is played every Christmas which is "Count your blessings instead of sheeps". Haay, after all the things that happened to my life these past few months, i hope this would be a great start.

1) My family, OK na kami...
2) I got a new assignment sa company which is something i never expected but i was hoping for
3) I gained weight, more confident now with my body..hehehe
4) My skin looks better now
5) Active na pud ko sa company activities but not as hyper sa NEC, NEC was different ..mas nahan jud ko moparticipate didto..the best jud ang NEC people for me so far
6) I have found the love of my life hehehe last Friday ...

It is indeed true, mutuo na jud ko ani na saying ..

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country."
"When you want something, the whole universe conspires with you to help you achieve it"

Indeed, when i started throwing my dreams into space, it did give me something .more than i expected ..and the universe indeed conpsired with me ..

=)

Stand Up For Love ... Im Sorry(Dont love you no more)

These songs are so nice ..cant stop singing

Stand Up For Love by Destiny's Child

[Beyoncé]
There are times I find it hard to sleep at night
We are living through such troubled times
And every child that reaches out for someone to hold
For one moment they become my own
And how can I pretend that I don't know what's going on
When every second with every minute another soul is gone

[Chorus]
And I believe that in my life I will see (ooh yeah)
An end to hopelessness or giving up of suffering
And we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
Stand up for life
Stand up for love

[Kelly]
I'm inspired and hopeful each and every day
That's how I know that things are gonna change
So how can I pretend that I don't know what's going on
When every second with every minute another soul is gone

[Chorus]
And I believe
That in my life I will see
An end to hopelesness of giving up of suffering
And we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
Stand up for life
Stand up for love

[Michelle]
And it all starts right here
And it starts right now
One person stand up there
And the rest will follow
For all the forgotten
For all the unloved
I'm gonna sing this song

[Chorus]
And I believe that in my life I will see
An end to hopelessness of giving up of suffering
If we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
Stand up for life
Stand up and sing
Stand up for love
For love, for love


Don't Love You No More (i'm Sorry) by Craig David

For all the years that I’ve known you baby
I can’t figure out the reason why lately
you’ve been acting so cold (didn’t you say)
if there’s a problem we should work it out
so why you giving me the cold shoulder now
like you don’t want to talk to me girl (tell me)
okay I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
but why you making this thing drag on so long (I wanna know)
I’m sick and tired of this silly game
don’t think that I’m the only one here to blame
it’s not me who’s been going round slamming doors

That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cause I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

I know that I’ve made a few mistakes
but never thought things would turn out this way
doesn’t make sense to me now that you’re gone (I see it all so clearly)
me at the door with you in a state
giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face

That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

Those simple words hit so hard
they turned my whole world upside down
girl you caught me completely off guard
on that night you said to me
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more.

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

Ressurection, payback time, revenge

After last Friday's super lasing session na naging winner ako sa kalasingan,
I woke up with more questions and issues about myself. "Whats wrong with me?". That was my biggest question until finally, ako na rin ang sumagot sa question ko..."because it was you who allowed it to happen!"

I was desperate, so frustrated ... i have realized i couldnt be like this forever. My being lasing or super hubog last Friday was the peak of all my disgust over all my frustrations and desperations. I have to stop this!

I have to ressurect my beaten and broken heart, show them its payback time and i want my revenge!

Kaya ngayon, beginning this week, gone are the moments na maghihintay ako na they'll text me, gone are the days na mag iisip ako ba't wala pa ako partner, gone are the questions why can't they love me ... why can't they date me, ba't hanggang ganito lang kami ...

This time, i will have to make sure na ako hahabulin all the time, i'll start to see those who i refuse to see before, i'll start to reach those within the boundaries of my existence. Sayang ung iba na hinayaan ko mawala dahil sa kanila, they could have been a partner, a perfect one for me, i was too foolish to see that.

Feel ko, its just now that i started to give value to myself, it feels good everytime i give them a negative response, something i haven't done before. Haay, this makes my life more exciting right now...

Eating Out Quotes

After i read Jan Wee's blog, i kinda came interested with this film. I havent seen it though kaya i browsed through the net to check its synopsis. In the site i found these memorable quotes, i bet u will surely enjoy. I hope i could find a copy of this film...

Memorable Quotes from Eating Out (2004)


[after Caleb confesses to Kyles that he's afraid of being ravished on his fake gay date]
Kyle: We're NOT pirates. We just dress like them.

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[after yet another boy she's dating confesses he's gay]
Gwen: I feel like a turnstile at the White Party!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as the boys leave for their date, Gwen decides Caleb can be had... ]
Marc: Bye, Gwen
Caleb: Bye, Gwen
Gwen: Bi... sexual

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caleb: I'm gonna circumcise your fucking neck!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gwen: Who needs friends who won't fuck friends?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joey: You're not being very positive about this?
Gwen: I couldn't be any more positive if I were gang raped in a repository bin at the needle exchange.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kyle: Men around here are like day old donuts, I mean I eat them because they're there, but I don't want to

invest anything in them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caleb: Are you looking fo Mr. Right Now?
Kyle: Please. I'll settle Mr. Five Minutes Ago.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tiffani: My titties didn't occur to you? Look at them! They occur to every man I meet!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gwen: If you've never tricked with a chick, are you sure you pick dick?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caleb: Don't take it personally.
Tiffani: I am a person, how else am I supposed to take it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marc: When he's around, my heart beats like a trailer park husband.
Gwen: That is so gay. And I mean all three definitions.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jamie: You're a reality show without a camera crew.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gwen: Put him on the phone, let me get the balls rolling.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gwen: Joey! Just remember, every time you suck a dick! Every time you poke some boy in the brown eye! Remember,

you've eaten pussy. You ate pussy and you liked it!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marc: I almost made it with a British guy in a broom closet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as she has sex with Caleb]
Gwen Anderson: Eat it, little gay boy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Tiffani stands in the doorway]
Tiffani: I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.
Kyle: That's Mister Miss Thing to you.
Caleb Peterson: Tiffani?
Tiffani: You little hose huffer!
Frank Peterson: Would you care to join us?
Tiffani: Gomez, Morticia, and little Wednesday.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jamie Peterson: Love you, gay bro.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caleb Peterson: Do I look gay?
Kyle: Like an insatiable bottom.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caleb Peterson: Now I really wish I was a fag.
Kyle: You and Ricky Martin both.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gwen Anderson: Can you name any tracks off of Madonna's "Like a Prayer" album?
Joey: Um, "Express Yourself," "Cherish," "Oh Father..."
Gwen Anderson: "Vogue?"
Joey: No, honey, "Vogue" was on "Dick Tracy."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gwen Anderson: You didn't mention Tiffani.
Susan Petersoon: Tiffani was a bitch.
Jamie Peterson: I liked her.
Frank Peterson: She was cute.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caleb Peterson: I think you turned me gay.
Tiffani: I did not *turn* you gay! How can you say that?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Gwen tells Caleb's family that he's gay]
Jamie Peterson: Fag, you're it!
Tiffani: I turned him gay, but I can turn him back.
Jamie Peterson: No fag-backs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as Marc leaves]
Sebastian: You know, kissing is so 1990s.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kyle: [to Caleb, picks up the caller-id device] It's for you Blow-me-o.

Waiting In Vain

It has been almost a month since my last post, i decided not to because there has been no clear update about my life here.

Yesterday, i experienced something .. HYPERVENTILATING ... that was the first time and i never thought it would be that exciting to feel that way ...

Why did I hyperentilate?

After two months of "waiting" Gian finally said he likes me ... He asked me if he ever has the chance on me .. I said YEAH! One said thing about this is that We couldnt still be together. He still has a partner. His relationship with that partner is all messed up and still he told me that he doesnt want to drag me into his mess ... Haaaayyyyy!

He is everything for me, the man i have been dreaming of, cute, sexy, tall, clean, model(modelizer bya ko), well educated and speaks english very well(Atenista baya!)You just dont know how happy I am when I am with him. The way he looks at me, the way he holds my hand, the way he kisses me(ShETT!)

I just couldnt understand, why i cant get him.. He said he doesnt want me to wait..but I wanna wait... He said he doesnt want to hurt me and that he doesnt want to drag me into his mess...But i am willing to be hurt just to get him. Ive met a lot of guys here, but everytime I am with them, in everything that i do with these guys, i see him, i think of him, he is all over my thoughts. Now i find it a waste of time to meet these new guys when what i am hoping for is being with him.

I hope he would be able to fix his fucking messed up life with his bf and try it with me..I just dont know if i can wait. I dont know if i could meet somebody who would make me forget him.

Should i wait? Or should i not?

My Birthday

I was so happy to see all my Manila friends during my birthday. I celebrated it at Metrowalk Ortigas. NagOktoberfest lang kami kasi kulang ako sa budget. Present halos lahat ng friends ko from NEC to CyberJ to VPALS-EM to Sci-hi. I was so happy. Though i missed my family, it could have been better if i celebrated it with them too.

Weekend Na Pud Update!!!

Last Friday i was blogging on my plans for the weekend, Jan Wee even commented that it seems like im running out of guys..hahahaha..so here is my update...

- Gym with Bernard
Yeah, nadayun siya finally, it wasn't a date, it was just a friendly meeting. Instead of going to the Fort, we went to RS Tower instead, while we were entering the changing room, guess who we met, Ted..hahaha, he saw us together..i felt so happy cause that was just how i wanted it to happen. To recall, while we were still dating, he invited Bernard for some private moments, kaso ayaw ni Bernard sa kanya kaya di un natuloy... I just cant describe how Ted looked like that night, He looked so plastic. We didnt even have a conversion fit for people who had great times together as friends. It was so civil, i didnt even realize he left na. Cguro it was awkward lang for us or maybe takot siya na maybe Bernard said awful things about him. Ang haba ng hair ko kc ako minit ni Bernard at siya hindi..hahaha!!! Imagine Bernard told me na pumayag pala siya magpanude photo session shet!!!, akala ko ayaw niya sa mga ganyan..haay! After gym, we just had dinner at his car, nag takeout lng kami sa Mcdo then he dropped me sa may greenbelt kc he has to finish his assignments pa sa law school.

- Meet K
Di ko ito tinuloy, masyadong bata at 19 years old magiguilty ako. kaya what i did, nagpakaloser ako, Saturday AM i txted Bernard, Josh, Van and Gian. Di pwede si Bernard kasi di pa natapos ung mga assignments niya which is due daw 4pm, di nagreply si Josh, si Van naman nagreply pero wala lang. Guess what! Gian ressurected, nagreply siya, ang saya ko!!! Meet kami ulit sa gym..almost di siya natuloy, finally dumating siya, Shit para siyang angel talaga. Everytime he talks to me, everytime he makes kidhat..haay para akong natatameme... His complexion, his body, he is every inch a model... Just cant get my eyes off him...After gym, he told me something ,the cute guy daw wearing a white sando( apparently type ko rin) type daw ako. I dont care, id prefer him over that guy....He asked me if i had dated na after my last, sabi ko "not yet" it seems like nobody wants to date me!" He said, "Id like to date you, i just dont want to drag you into my mess" Shit, puchang mess yan, date mo na ako, if only u know how much i like you!!! then i told him.. "How about trying it out, we never know?" wala siyang comment..hanggang ung usapan namin reached to our birthdays, i hope he could remember my birthday next week....

Sunday i decided, if we meet again that day, ill tell him how i feel, ill risk it... pero if di pwede ill just have to be contented with what we have..friends..i cannot wait for forever diba? or maybe ill end up again with somebody who is not romantically into me at least if you talk about relationships...If i cant have him, i wish ill get somebody who is at least in a way like him... his conio voice, the way he dresses up, the way he fixes his hair, his scent. haaay! Everytime i reminisce us walking the sidewalks of emerald avenue, sheltering under my very small black umbrella and when his chest brushes my back when he says something to me while im doing my routines, when we hold hands on the taxi, when he tries to hold my hand, everytime nobody is around the vicinity, when he kisses my elbow, my arm, shoulders and lips....haaay! It really makes my heart skip a beat! I just hope one day, he will realize that he likes me too! hahaha.. sana 1 day maging kami! Diba, its better if we take this gradually..haay! I hope this wont just be a dream or a silly fling or good time single people normally do, i hope he is not the single guy who wants to be single forever to enjoy his singlehood... I hope i could stand being single with him too ... I hope i could spend more time with him, I hope he will be mine and me his own.... =)

Weekend Na Pud

Last night Me, Ria, Georgia, Vincent, Monette and Rainier had dinner with Jgums at Greenbelt 3's Krokodile Grille. Its was a Shimane, SV-OpS, IX View and E-access reunion, I'll let Ria's blog do the sharing of what we discussed.

Things to look forward for the weekend:
- Ria's trip to Singapore
- Gym with B
- Meet K ( ambot asay madayon ani sa duha, mayta di kau gasto kay wa na kau ko kwarta..)
- Gimik with Ken and Julius
- Ken and Alfred transferring to ur new place in QC
- Weekend gym surprises
- Me scouting for new stuffs for my new room (decors, sheets, fan, foam)
- How i could budget my money, considering that i still have a week to go before the salary comes and that i still have to save for my new place's downpayment and advance) Whew! mayta musugot si alfred na half2 lang sa ako bayran oi!

JGums asked me and Ria whats with Manila that we liked so much. He asked us..salary? savings? we said NO!!!! We told him.... Even if wa mi savings, makalaag japon mi diri, enjoy, lingaw... sa Cebu..wa pa mi savings wa pa jud mi laag naa ra mi balay! ..so mao to amo big difference!!!!

I hope lingaw ako weekend karon, dili na unta parehas sa last 2 weeks, i hope it'll be something exciting and different!....

Prospects

As part of our weekly agenda, me and Ken again went to Starbucks Shangri-la Plaza. Akala niyo nagoorder kami? Hindi, kumukuha lng kami ng table na may order na para di halatang di kami nag oorder.

There we saw Regine Velasquez, o nga, she is so white!, she's not beautiful and i dont find her sexy. i also saw JB Magsaysay, he is OK. Di siya super attractive but he is perfectly ok na....

While Ken and i were talking, I saw this guy behind the glass of Starbucks, may kasama siyang matanda rin na katulad namin. I stared at him, ginamit ko ung makamandag kong stare, and as expected, kumagat! I kept looking at him, until they went home.

Nagtuo mi ni Ken na muoli na jud siya, shet nibalik ang ekal! So mao na ni.... nya wala man sige ra man ug tindog sa gawas so niuli na mi ni ken kay 10pm na sad. As we went to the MRt station, we decided na Ken should take a bus nalang, so bumalik kami sa may Megamall, he was really following us, kaso its too obvious na, if he'll follow us papuntang Mega. So end of love story na.

Why prospects? kay wa ko lain mathink na topic, wa ko gana mowork kay frozen ako utok sa katugnaw diri sa office. Who are these prospects ba? First si Bernard, meet daw kami bukas, maggigym lang, haay ewan ko ba sa taong to, baka mapostpone na naman ung gym date na to..dont want to expect further...Si josh, wala na yata to kasi he saw na my profile sa friendster at di siya nagtext, di ako type. Si Van, nagreply na sya, he gave his number, i texted yet di rin nag reply,siguro tulog pa. Ung mestizo na sexy guy sa gym, kaso parang maarte kaya dequeue() na rin siya.. Ung Rico look-alike na guy din sa gym, haay..wa siyay effort mureach out sa ako...Haay! sa kadaghan sa prospects murag walay klaro tanan..

The biggest question...hapit na ang deadline, wala pa koy klaro na mauyab.....Kinsa ka ha? TABANG!!!

Missed Home

As I was waiting for the 5:30 mass at St Francis Church, I decided to hang out at Shangri-la Plaza to watch Wow Davao. I saw their dance, feels like home.. I missed Sinulog. I wish I could go home by January to witness next year's Sinulog!

It made me think, "saan kaya ako this long vacation?" Puerto Galera? Tagaytay? Subic? Vigan? haay, so many possibilities, wala naman pera hehehe.. May makakasama kaya akong bagong SO nyan? hehehe... How bout this Christmas? Even if I know na Ill be with either my VPALs barkada or with Ken or Julius or all of them, diba mas masaya if kasama kang u know na u can share those great moments with?

Just this morning, opening the website monsterradio.fm just struck my mind. Haay! It feels much like home, hearing Rick O'rion talk, the music.. the cebu ads...

It is really true when they say that most of the time, when you are alone, you feel like going back to where you came from. The place where you have so much friends, where your family is, where you dont get bored, where you have so many things to do.