I first heard this song while watching Smallville, accidentally it was its American premier. Two nights ago while watching the season finale of 4400, this song was again played. The last time i heard of this song was last year, just right before I resigned. I so lvoe this song that everytime I hear it, I always feel so in love and so loved.
"You And Me"
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
Monday, November 27, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Can't Sleep .. Insomnia?
I have been deprived of getting a straight 8 hours sleep lately. I dont know what this is..insomnia perhaps? Or a sleeping pattern disorder? whatever! Why cant I sleep before 3am? Why is it that I only get sleepy when the clock ticks 3am? Do i have a disease? Or am i developing this so called of an evolution into something? What am I? A 4400? a mutant? Will I be developing an ability?(Oh my God, effect na siguro to ng kakanood ko ng Lost, Desperate Housewives, Supernatural and 4400). Why is it that sometimes I tend to act OC?(Bree?). Gusto kong magkaroon ng powers! Parang Pyro or some precognitive o telekinetic or life-absorbing ability perhaps? Ano ba? My post is not making any sense.....
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Im coming home
As an additional gift for my birthday, aside from treating me for a very happy and memorable vacation down south of Manila, J--- bought me a round trip ticket to Cebu.
By December 20, I'll be home. I'm really excited about this. I have been wanting to see Cebu. I missed the people so much. I missed the food(barbecue, lechon, chicharon). I missed the places I used to hang out and visit. I missed my family and friends. He will also be pending Christmas with me in Cebu. So, that will be another great thing and something that I will be looking forward to next month. .... barely a month to go .....
By December 20, I'll be home. I'm really excited about this. I have been wanting to see Cebu. I missed the people so much. I missed the food(barbecue, lechon, chicharon). I missed the places I used to hang out and visit. I missed my family and friends. He will also be pending Christmas with me in Cebu. So, that will be another great thing and something that I will be looking forward to next month. .... barely a month to go .....
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
I'm Guilty
There are so many things bothering me lately. Things in the past that i did, they're haunting me.
I'm guilty for not respecting my father. I always thought that he was a big burden for my mother. I've always wanted to see him make the ends meet for my family. I hated him for I didn't grow up with luxuries in life that I often see in my classmates and cousins. I hated him for being so strict and too disciplinarian that everytime I hear his voice it seems to me that a lightning has just struck my ear. I hated him for not doing always the household chores when in fact he is always at home. Now I hated myself for hating him. He is a good father. All I saw in him was his negative side. I never realized not until I grew up that he did try his best to pelase us. He was an all around father. He knows how to cook. He wakes up very early every morning just to cook our food for breakfast and baon. He even bakes cakes and pastries for us. He knows how to sew. He fixes our worn clothes, he made a customized bag for us, he tailored our uniforms, he made bedsheets, seat covers and curtains for our house. He knows how to do carpentry and mechanical works. He repairs our house, made a cabinet for us and troubleshoots our broken appliances. He even made a vegetable garden so that we always have fresh vegetables for our meal. He protects us from burglars and from dangerous people. He did all he could just to pay for my graduation expenses when I was in high school and college. Just to have what we need, he even sacrificed his life for us by going abroad, suffered he terror of his Korean employer just to send us money. I am guilty because when I left for Manila, I forgot his birthday and greeted him 2 days after. He may not be the best financial provider for us but he did everything he could just to prove that he loves us. Wow! what a wonderful father my father is!
I am guilty for not loving my mother as much as she loved me. I know deep in my heart and in my mind that mama loves us so much. I am guilty and I am sad that I couldnt repay her. I hate myself for hurting her. I hate myself for not fulfilling my promise to her. I hate myself for hurting her. She was my inspiration when I was still studying. I promised her that once I get a job Ill give her the best life there is that I could. I am so sorry mama. I dont want to promise anything but as soon as things get normal. Things would be better for us.
I am guilty for competing with my siblings. We used to be a happy not until the moment I realized I was gay. I started to separate myself from my sister and brother because I was afraid that they might not respect me. I hated it when my brother borrows thigns from me. I used to shout at him for doing it. I hated helping them with their studies. I laugh at their mistakes, for me it was success. I was afraid that they might surpass my academic achievements for I knew that they're more mentally capable than I am, its just that I was the more diligent son. I thought that if they excel, nothing will be left of me. Theyre more talented and more physically gifted. I was the ugly son. The boring son. Now that we are older, things got better for them. If only I helped them before, they could have achieved more. I miss my siblings. If only I was a better brother.
I am guilty for not spending too much time with my grandmother. My grandmother made me a good person. Because of her, I excelled in school. She taught me everything to prepare me for grade school. She taught me good values. During her last years, I felt tired takign good care of her. Everytime she calls for my attention when she needed something or when she wants to spend time with me, I normally run just to avoid her. I hated myself for doing it. I miss lola so much. I love her so much. She doesnt deserve it.
I am guilty for not paying too much attention to my father's family because they are poor. I spent much of my growing years with my mothers family. I know all of them. Too bad I only know a handful of my father's family. I thought they were misguided. Maybe it was my father's fault for not letting us spend time with them. It could have made a difference. I always compare them with my cousins from my mother's side. I never realized that they are still part of the big family I am. I am who they are. We belong to the same family. I was blessed for being given a good childhood with good education and right upbringing. I could have shared to them the great things I had.
I am not a perfect person. I know I did things that I regret now. I know realizing my faults will make me a better person. I do hope I would be able to makeup the things I failed to do before. I am so sorry for hurting my family. I am sorry for not being the person you have always wanted me to become.
I'm guilty for not respecting my father. I always thought that he was a big burden for my mother. I've always wanted to see him make the ends meet for my family. I hated him for I didn't grow up with luxuries in life that I often see in my classmates and cousins. I hated him for being so strict and too disciplinarian that everytime I hear his voice it seems to me that a lightning has just struck my ear. I hated him for not doing always the household chores when in fact he is always at home. Now I hated myself for hating him. He is a good father. All I saw in him was his negative side. I never realized not until I grew up that he did try his best to pelase us. He was an all around father. He knows how to cook. He wakes up very early every morning just to cook our food for breakfast and baon. He even bakes cakes and pastries for us. He knows how to sew. He fixes our worn clothes, he made a customized bag for us, he tailored our uniforms, he made bedsheets, seat covers and curtains for our house. He knows how to do carpentry and mechanical works. He repairs our house, made a cabinet for us and troubleshoots our broken appliances. He even made a vegetable garden so that we always have fresh vegetables for our meal. He protects us from burglars and from dangerous people. He did all he could just to pay for my graduation expenses when I was in high school and college. Just to have what we need, he even sacrificed his life for us by going abroad, suffered he terror of his Korean employer just to send us money. I am guilty because when I left for Manila, I forgot his birthday and greeted him 2 days after. He may not be the best financial provider for us but he did everything he could just to prove that he loves us. Wow! what a wonderful father my father is!
I am guilty for not loving my mother as much as she loved me. I know deep in my heart and in my mind that mama loves us so much. I am guilty and I am sad that I couldnt repay her. I hate myself for hurting her. I hate myself for not fulfilling my promise to her. I hate myself for hurting her. She was my inspiration when I was still studying. I promised her that once I get a job Ill give her the best life there is that I could. I am so sorry mama. I dont want to promise anything but as soon as things get normal. Things would be better for us.
I am guilty for competing with my siblings. We used to be a happy not until the moment I realized I was gay. I started to separate myself from my sister and brother because I was afraid that they might not respect me. I hated it when my brother borrows thigns from me. I used to shout at him for doing it. I hated helping them with their studies. I laugh at their mistakes, for me it was success. I was afraid that they might surpass my academic achievements for I knew that they're more mentally capable than I am, its just that I was the more diligent son. I thought that if they excel, nothing will be left of me. Theyre more talented and more physically gifted. I was the ugly son. The boring son. Now that we are older, things got better for them. If only I helped them before, they could have achieved more. I miss my siblings. If only I was a better brother.
I am guilty for not spending too much time with my grandmother. My grandmother made me a good person. Because of her, I excelled in school. She taught me everything to prepare me for grade school. She taught me good values. During her last years, I felt tired takign good care of her. Everytime she calls for my attention when she needed something or when she wants to spend time with me, I normally run just to avoid her. I hated myself for doing it. I miss lola so much. I love her so much. She doesnt deserve it.
I am guilty for not paying too much attention to my father's family because they are poor. I spent much of my growing years with my mothers family. I know all of them. Too bad I only know a handful of my father's family. I thought they were misguided. Maybe it was my father's fault for not letting us spend time with them. It could have made a difference. I always compare them with my cousins from my mother's side. I never realized that they are still part of the big family I am. I am who they are. We belong to the same family. I was blessed for being given a good childhood with good education and right upbringing. I could have shared to them the great things I had.
I am not a perfect person. I know I did things that I regret now. I know realizing my faults will make me a better person. I do hope I would be able to makeup the things I failed to do before. I am so sorry for hurting my family. I am sorry for not being the person you have always wanted me to become.
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