Waiting In Vain

It has been almost a month since my last post, i decided not to because there has been no clear update about my life here.

Yesterday, i experienced something .. HYPERVENTILATING ... that was the first time and i never thought it would be that exciting to feel that way ...

Why did I hyperentilate?

After two months of "waiting" Gian finally said he likes me ... He asked me if he ever has the chance on me .. I said YEAH! One said thing about this is that We couldnt still be together. He still has a partner. His relationship with that partner is all messed up and still he told me that he doesnt want to drag me into his mess ... Haaaayyyyy!

He is everything for me, the man i have been dreaming of, cute, sexy, tall, clean, model(modelizer bya ko), well educated and speaks english very well(Atenista baya!)You just dont know how happy I am when I am with him. The way he looks at me, the way he holds my hand, the way he kisses me(ShETT!)

I just couldnt understand, why i cant get him.. He said he doesnt want me to wait..but I wanna wait... He said he doesnt want to hurt me and that he doesnt want to drag me into his mess...But i am willing to be hurt just to get him. Ive met a lot of guys here, but everytime I am with them, in everything that i do with these guys, i see him, i think of him, he is all over my thoughts. Now i find it a waste of time to meet these new guys when what i am hoping for is being with him.

I hope he would be able to fix his fucking messed up life with his bf and try it with me..I just dont know if i can wait. I dont know if i could meet somebody who would make me forget him.

Should i wait? Or should i not?